A divorce is a gruelling and exhausting experience for the entire family. Even an amicable divorce can be something the children might find difficult to cope with.
In such cases, parents and guardians can take some steps to help them manage the stress and frustration.
1. Reassure them
As parents it is your responsibility to reassure your children that they are the priority above everything else. Tell them their happiness takes precedence over any conflict or disagreement. They should know that they are not responsible for the divorce.
2. Avoid arguments in front of them
No matter how heated the discussions get, avoid arguing with your ex in front of your children. You should hire a good attorney that will act as a mediator rather than insinuating ill will. Reputed divorce lawyers in Louisiana will not only look out for your interests but will also consider what’s best for your family.
3. Resist the blame game
Avoid blaming your ex while talking about the divorce with your children. You should not encourage resentment in your children towards the other parent. Always use neutral and non-judgemental language to prevent damaging your children’s relationship with your ex.
4. Don’t disrupt the daily routine
A divorce is a demanding and time-consuming process. But don’t let this disrupt your children’s daily routine. It might be tough but you have to keep everything as normal as possible for the children.
If you are a grandparent or a relative who feels the divorce is jeopardizing your grandchildren’s future, you can seek legal help. You should look at grandparents rights in Louisiana to learn about custody and visitation rights.
5. Don’t belittle your ex
Refrain yourself from talking negatively about your ex in front of your children. The divorce is already quite stressful for the children, they don’t need the added burden of knowing the shortcomings of their parents.
6. Come up with a schedule
Divorce will be a major change for the children. So you and your ex should come up with a fair schedule for the children. You should mutually take decisions regarding their health, finance and education.
Do not try to keep your ex from seeing your children without a solid reason. If you treat each other with fairness and respect, your children will see it and feel comfortable.
7. Don’t use your children as messengers
It is your responsibility to communicate with your ex. Don’t use your children as pawns in your divorce battle. If needed, ask your attorney to communicate with your ex, but refrain from dragging the children into it.
8. Prioritize stability
Divorce itself is a major transition that often comes with moving cities and schools. If possible, don’t move to a new city. The stability provided by friends and school life can help your children cope with the divorce.
However, if moving is necessary, then take your children to visit their old neighbourhood and friends to ease them into the move. This is most likely to make them feel secure.
9. Validate their feelings
The reaction to a divorce might come out in the form of rage, crying and tantrums. You should validate these feelings rather than dismissing them. Children’s feelings and emotions should be discussed and shouldn’t be bottled up. Don’t deny their feelings but communicate and provide reassurance.
10. Take care of yourself
Divorce is a long process that can be taxing on your health. It is important for you to be healthy inorder to provide appropriate care for your children. Don’t let your children become your caretakers.
Also, don’t isolate yourself. Surround yourself with your support system. Take help from family, friends and counselors to deal with the stress and pain.
Going through a divorce is never easy. Hopefully, these tips will help you and your children deal with this enormous change.